Alone with a bottle of Jin
by slutzama
Summary: Ragna feels lonely and horny in his cold room. After drinking a bit, he decides to hire a prostitute to keep him company. But something about this woman is quite suspicious...   This is a bad!crack!fic in case you hadn't figured it out. Jin/Ragna.
1. Main part

PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. This was a wonderful idea suggested by a friend, and I am quite grateful. At the end of this part, you have the opportunity to select an option that will either lead you to a Gag Reel or to a Smut End. I know, I know, I am brilliant. Anyways, enjoy, and please leave a review, it would make me happy FOREVER AND EVER.

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It was a cold night in a small inn along the road to Ikaruga. Ragna the Bloodedge had been traveling for a week already, alongside his new companion, Taokaka. The two of them had run into few obstacles, but this day was different. Ragna was sitting on the edge of his bed, a bottle of beer in his hand and some others at his feet, empty. He had started drinking for reasons now vague in his mind... something along the lines of his dead sister being alive and other strange turns of events. Despite the cheerful company Tao provided, Ragna couldn't forget everything that had happened in the past few weeks... couldn't forget without the help of the liquid that was currently going down his throat.

His thoughts started to go in a certain direction, and he wasn't sure if it was a good thing. He was thinking about all the women he had met recently, visualizing their charm points and wondering why he hadn't used some of the fights as an opportunity to get some female contact. A good grope would certainly go unnoticed if he hit the victim with his sword right after. He dropped the bottle of beer on the floor as he took one last sip, then winced back and lay down on his bed. He could see the female shapes much better on the white ceiling... however, he frowned as well-endowed breasts shifted into the muscular form of a certain ninja, then a firm ass in tight black pants, and finally into the perfect legs of a Library officer.

He shook his head to get those ridiculous visions out, and turned to the desk near his bed. A few colorful brochures were spread across it, but one in particular caught his eye. Women in quite revealing clothing and suspicious positions crowded one side, and the other was inscribed with alluring ideas, the shady face of the green-haired owner of the company, and a phone number. Ragna's blurry vision tried to make out the number as his shaky hands reached out for the phone. He knew he'd regret this, but he really needed some company tonight... and the only other option at the moment was Tao.

A strangely familiar voice answered his call, but he couldn't quite remember who it belong to... "Zama Escort Agency, how may I help you~?"

Ragna swallowed hard and felt tempted to hang up, but he had come this far already. "Uh... yeah, hi. I want to, uh, h-hire... someone... for tonight."

"Perfect! That's what we're here for! Any preferences? Particular requests?"

His hazy mind had a hard time making sense out of the question, but he still answered with what he thought was appropriate. "I guess... I like blondes? That aren't too tanned... g-green eyes are awesome too. A-and... don't think I'm sick or anything because of this, but I... l-like it when girls don't have a body that looks too... mature, you know?"

The man at the end of the line chuckled and kept going. "Sounds excellent, I think I have the perfect match for you~ Now, may you give me your name, current address, phone number and credit card number to pay for our services?"

Ragna didn't hesitate for a second, gave all the information asked-apart from his real name of course, he couldn't risk anything-and the familiar voice confirmed that the escort would arrive in about an hour before hanging up. Ragna took this time to clean up the mess on the floor and took a shower, slightly snapping out of his drunken stupor. He looked at his hazy eyes in the mirror, already regretting what he was planning for tonight, and finding himself ridiculous for even taking the time to style his hair, brush his teeth and iron his clothes. He was trying to look good for a _girl_. Worse even, for a _whore_.

He jumped when he heard a knock on the room's door, sweat suddenly forming on his brow. His hands felt slippery on the knob... and his heart skipped a beat when he opened it. Ragna didn't expect... service of such high quality. The girl standing at his door was almost as tall as him, but her shape was much slender, beautiful hips and legs compensating her lacking chest. Her blond hair curled down to her hips, but the most intriguing part about her was the mask she was wearing, covering half of her face. Her lips captivated Ragna as they formed a sentence. "Mister Tiger Festival? I believe you've asked for my services."

"Huh, call me Ragna." Ragna scoffed at the false name he had came up with, and ignored the woman's weird voice. It was high-pitched, but not exactly feminine. If he weren't this drunk, he'd probably notice that the voice was identical to someone he knew quite well. "So... come in, I guess. How does this damn thing work anyways?"

Ragna closed the door as the beautiful woman walked in and placed her handbag on the desk. He couldn't help but notice how fine her butt looked in those booty shorts. She turned around, a wide smile on her face. "You can't even understand how long I've waited for this Ni-hm, Ragna." Ragna frowned at the hesitation, but brushed it off as soon as the woman sat on his bed. "Well, let's see. There are a ton of things I can do for you~ Maybe a massage? Or we could simply talk..."

Ragna scratched the back of his head and looked at the floor in shame. "Yeah, uh, I don't feel like talking that much... a-and I've been walking a lot recently so I'm really sore... yeah. So I guess that a... massage would be nice."

The blond-haired woman stood up to let Ragna take place on the bed. "Of course, mister Ragna! Please lay down then, I'll go take what I need in my bag."

"Alright... I guess I have to take my shirt off, right? Yeah... okay..." The woman searched in her bag for a while, and Ragna caught a glimpse of some rather... suspiciously kinky objects in it. He shrugged it off and proceeds to remove his red coat and shirt. The lady turned around when she found what she had been looking for, a few colorful bottles of what probably were scented lotions. She smiled, and what could possibly look like sparkles were seen in her eyes as she caught a glimpse of the topless man in front of her. "Mmm~ Ah, no matter how much I enjoy looking at your front, I will ask you to lay down now."

Ragna grunted as he burrowed his face in his pillow, still unsure about this whole situation. He felt the woman climb on the bed, straddling him right over his ass. He couldn't help but sigh happily when she bent down and her hands applied lotion all over his back, releasing him from any tension. However, something at the back of his clouded mind screamed that something was wrong when Ragna felt a weird bump rubbing against his backside. He didn't have that much experience with women, but he sure knew that they were not supposed to have bulges. He shrugged it off, figured it might be yet another effect of the alcohol. The woman kept touching all the right spots, eventually moving lower and lower, right to the edge of his waistband. She stopped there however, got up and ordered Ragna to turn and lay on his back.

He did as he was asked, staring at the escort's eternally smiling face. She climbed back up after applying more scented oils on her hands, straddling him again. Ragna shivered as the strangely rugged hands touched all over his waist and a few curls tickled his waist... these curls, they weren't soft. They felt quite... artificial. Ragna looked up at the masked face, his mind sending him more warnings. Something about this was wrong. So very wrong.

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-Ragna rips the mask off. _(Select Option A in chapter selection)_  
-Ragna ignores the suspicious details. _(Select Option B in chapter selection)_


	2. OPTION A

Ragna frowned as he felt something hard rub against his manhood, and that did it. Something was really wrong about this whole situation. He pushed the woman's hands away and reached for her mask, ripping it off in a swift motion. She seemed shocked for a moment, but her face went smug in a matter of seconds. His doubts confirmed, Ragna pulled on the hair as well. "I knew it... you're not a prostitute! You're not even a girl! W-what the heck! GET OUT JIN!"

"But nii-san! This is so much fun, why stop now?" Ragna looked at the Major with a horrified look on his face. Not only was his little brother currently straddling him while wearing high-heels, booty shorts and a frilly top, but he now knew that Ragna had requested some... 'special service'. "And anyways, you want this, right? All alone in this room... I see you've been drinking as well! Aaah, I didn't know nii-san was so lonely... You know I'm here to help you with that..."

Ragna pushed Jin off, making him stumble to the floor. "That is so cruel... brother." Ragna scoffed and looked away, reaching for his discarded shirt. He wasn't going to look at Jin right now, who was sitting on the floor with his legs spread wide. "Yeah, you think? Well I think you're disgusting and a sick bastard and should get out. NOW."

Jin started crying and got back on his feet. He wiped a tear away as he picked up his belongings, and Ragna wondered if he had been too harsh. "If that's how you feel nii-san, I can't do anything about it. I just... (sniff) wanted to... (sob) make you feel better. But I guess I'll (sniff) leave now."

"Alright, alright. It's okay. Just... stop the freakin tears will you?" Ragna was fully clothed again as he reached for Jin's arm, who was about to leave. "I guess we can... talk? Or something. But don't pull some scary crap like that again."

"Oh, nii-san, I'm so happy! I finally get to... I get to dress up for you again!" Jin turned around once more, tears dissipated and a wide smile across his face, and started looking for more outfits in his handbag. Ragna brought his palm to his face, clearly aggravated by the whole situation. The next few hours will be burned in Ragna's mind forever, as he witnessed the young man putting on all sort of outfits and parading around the room with them.

**ONE OF THE MANY POSSIBILITIES... OF THE CONTINUUM SHIFT.**


	3. OPTION B

Ragna ignored all the warnings his mind was sending him and relaxed. The frail but rugged hands explored every inch of his skin, and the lady never stopped smiling through it all. As she applied lotion lower and lower, her body became more inclined, and Ragna figured that if she wasn't this flat, her breasts would probably rub against his own chest. He tried to look away as his face became more and more flushed, her cold breath on his face sending shivers down his spine. She passed two fingers under his waistband, and Ragna tried his best to keep a straight face as she played with the curls there, introduced a third finger in his pants and touched lower. He bucked under her touch as her hand went down his pants and played with his balls a little, and she just giggled at his reaction. Her other hand stopped admiring his muscles and she moved a bit to lower Ragna's pants. His hardening erection met the cold air and he gasped, thrusting once again when she grabbed his shaft and lowered her face near it.

Ragna was taking it like a man, not saying a single word and trying to prevent any dirty sounds from leaving his mouth. But he couldn't help but frown again and feel uneasy as a strange bulge rubbed against his legs, petty sure it was at the exact same place the woman's crotch was. However, all of his doubts were discarded when her lips met the head of his cock and a cold tongue teased its tip. He bucked again, wanting to burrow his manhood in her mouth, feel more of its dampness. But she pulled back, instead licking up and down his shaft while grabbing his balls. Ragna grunted and grabbed the back of her head, clearly annoyed by the teasing. She simply chuckled and pulled back entirely, discarding the hand that was resting on her hair... but Ragna had well enough time to notice that it was strange and awful to touch, turning him off a bit. And that's when he took another good look at her... And noticed something terrifying and absolutely unusual. There was a bulge in her booty shorts. More than just a bulge. A freaking tent in her... HIS pants. Ragna looked up to her face with widened eyes, and the crossdressing... thing formed the sentence he dreaded the most. "It's been so long, nii-san. I've been waiting for this!"

Before Ragna even had time to protest, the woman-who was actually Jin, his little brother-ripped off her mask tore down her shorts, revealing a dripping, fully erect cock. Ragna screamed as if he had saw a ghost. "Oh my GOD! SHIT THIS IS DISGUSTING OH HELL, GO AWAY JIN! YOU BASTARD!"

Ragna tried to push him off, but Jin hang on firmly, straddling his hips and making their dicks touch. Ragna screamed in horror again as both cocks were handled by Jin, who was now humming, apparently in complete bliss. He passed his thumb over both heads and gasped words that sounded awfully like "nii-san". He repeated the word a few times as Ragna shut his eyes tight, refusing to look at the naked form of his little brother even as his face became entirely red. Jin clearly noticed that and chuckled, whispering in his ear "I'm so happy that you're enjoying this as much as I am, my dear brother."

Jin pushed hard on his chest and made Ragna fall on his back, pulling down his pants entirely at the same time. Ragna attempted to kick him, anything to make him stop, but it was all meaningless. Jin threw his brother's pants away and moved back up, pinning Ragna's hands above his head and captured his lips, ignoring all of his protests. The older man was clenching his teeth but Jin kept pushing his tongue in, licking all he could, gasping when Ragna finally gave in. He hesitantly met his young brother's tongue and they both moaned as the kiss deepened and their cocks kept brushing against each other.

Ragna figured he'd just give up, stop resisting when Jin got off him and spread his legs, realizing how much he needed this, how much he wanted to be touched by someone... whoever it might be. Jin reached for a bottle again, lubricant this time, and applied some to his fingers, not wasting a second afterwards to insert one, three, up his brother's ass, and Ragna moaned loud at the stretching sensation. Even if he was the one who hired a prostitute, he felt like he was the whore, arching his back, panting and pushing towards the fingers as his hard cock throbbed at all the pleasure and pain. Jin's eyes became hazy as he contemplated his brother, still humming his name over and over again. He couldn't wait any longer, pulled his fingers out and applied the same substance all over his own shaft. Ragna closed his eyes and grunted when he caught a glimpse of Jin's preparation, and fought back the urge to kill as he felt the tip of a dick at his entrance.

Jin didn't hesitate much longer and certainly didn't do things the gentle way. With a few swift thrust, his dick was entirely sheathed in his brother's heat. Ragna screamed at the pain, and it only excited Jin further, who kept pulling out and pushing in despite how tight it was. He lowered his head again, this time near Ragna's chest, and started nipping at the skin there, then moving to a nipple, biting. Jin felt the dripping cock rubbing against him, clearly his brother wanted more contact, wanted to be touched everywhere. He chuckled, laughed that creepy laugh of his as he went back to Ragna's lips, biting hard, thrusting rougher at each of his disapproving grunts. It wasn't long before Jin moaned out "NIIIII-SAAAAN" in a more obscene way than ever and a warm sensation filled Ragna, making him cum all over the blonde's shirt right after. Jin collapsed on his brother and let his hands go, but stayed in him. Only panting sounds filled the room for a few minutes, until Ragna took the opportunity to push Jin off, shivering as the dick left him and he felt empty. He ran off to the shower without any hesitation, disgusted by himself and his whole stained body. When he got out of the shower, he was pleased to see that Jin was already gone. He threw the dirty bedcover away and lay down on his bed, face first since his butt was in great pain.

The next morning, instead of waking up to Tao's "FEED ME RAWRGNA" and door scratching, it was the room's phone that rang. Ragna tried to make out what the woman at the end of the line was saying through the excruciating pain in his head, but it just became worse when he figured it out. "You have exceeded your credit card limit by ten thousand dollars." Ragna hung up and started crying, face buried in his hands.

**ONE OF THE MANY POSSIBILITIES... OF THE CONTINUUM SHIFT.**


End file.
